Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My hospital visit
On Tuesday, September 29th, 2010, my sister was admitted to Children's Hospital. Over the past couple of months she has had some problems where she feels very dizzy and drained of energy. Every time she goes to the doctor though, they tell her that there is nothing wrong with her. You would think that if something was truley wrong with her that the doctors would be able to figure it out but that doesn't seem to be the case here. It's been hard because my mom's insurance is about to cut us off because of the amount of money its cost the insurance company to keep her in the hospital on and off like this. It's also hard because after so many visits and no results you begin to wonder if these symptons that she is discribing to us are indeed true or some giant well thought-out plan that is her key to missing alot of school. This being her first year of High School she needs to understand that missing mass amounts of school will guarentee a fail. Part of high school is that you are walked through a step by step processes of how to get from point A to point B. If she misses 2-3 weeks of school she is going to miss over half of the steps. Its hard to build a puzzle thats missing pieces. We have been in school for about 4-5 weeks now and she has already close to half of it. Last night I so gratiously spent my night in the hospital in hopes that maybe they would find something this time and i would be able to feel like all of this money and possible cut off of insurance isn't for a lost cause but for a good reason. With all of this being said I feel that if she is saying she really feels this way then maybe she does. I really can't feel what she is feelings so i have no right to say she is ok or she is sick.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Secret Finances
This past week I discovered that the prices of some fast food places seem to have a blurry image for a price tag when you are seriously craving some food. On friday me and Jade (my boo :P) went on a field trip to sonic to tame our hunger beasts that had been growing stronger in us from the begining of the day. With limited amounts of money we tried to spend as smartly as we could which ment we split our checks so we could take advantage of the free route 44 drink that was given if you called in and answered the servey about the service you recived. I walked up to the order menu and never before have I felt the urge to order so much food before in my entire life. I pressed the red button and filled out my order and it all sounded so good and cheap that it was ok. When the lady finally read off my total for the order I realized I had dropped an easy 20 dollars on sonic. The lesson I learned from that was that although alot of the food sounds good on the menu sometimes its better to order small and make a sandwitch or four at your house. It may not sound as mouth watering but it can get the job done :).
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
My Weekend Realization
On thursday of last week I recived the news that my grandmother passed away at 9:34 pm. Violet Carr wasn't my blood grandmother but she was as close as they come. This past weekend I spent the whole time planning out what I had to get done for her funeral and getting all my timing in place so that I didn't miss anymore school then I had to. Sunday was the day of her viewing and I would love to say that I am this strong hearted person but open casket is just something I couldn't bring myself to go to. Monday was the actual day of the funeral and I have to say it is an amazing thing to see a family come together to honor the life of one human being. You would think that it isn't possible to touch the heart of so many people but here I was in a room of 400 people just in amazement. Overall her funeral was more of a happy and upbeat thing then a sad one because she was no longer in pain and weither or not I belive in god or not I know that she is in a better place regardless. The funeral service took about 4 hours and the people who spoke really stood strong up there infront of everyone. I went up to say something (which was akward because I didn't know anyone) and spoke from my heart how she had affected my life. Violet and George (husband and wife) were our next door neighbors when we moved in and without hessitation welcomed themselves and started there way into our lives. Me and my sister were very young at the time but there is nothing more comferting then 2 elder people showing you all sorts of love. After the funeral on monday I went home and just kind of tried my best to gather my mind and try to get my emotions in check. On tuesday it was apparent to me that I just felt sick to my stomach from being so upset so I crawled back in bed and slept all day. I would love to tell you that the day was spent having a great time and it was just a relax fest but it wasn't. The day was kind of a mournful day and a gathering day. Death is just one of those things that doesn't make sense sometimes. Death just is a mystery that we use religion to crutch off of as a couping mechanizem. The biggest question I have ever had to ask myself was what happen's after we pass. Is it really this amazing thing that be the best thing ever? Or is it this belief that once you pass you slip into this eternal dream that lasts forever? Regardless any of those options sounds like a blessing. Life after life sounds like a stress free enviorment with no consiquences. Anyways with all of this being said this is the reason that I had to unfortunatly post my blog late. The overwhelming feelings from someone close to you passing away is not one that seems to come litey. One thing that I can say that I honestly can take from this experience of losing 2 grandparents in a matter of 2 months is that the pain may seem so great and overwhelming but the greatest gift you can have in your life is a parent or good friend that you can talk to. You may lose someone great in your life but you also gain a new one. Im not saying they are the replacement but life is an amazing thing and one general rule that can keep you going is just keep taking the next step. You may feel like you have a tremendious force trying to hold you back but the fact of the matter is every one person has the ability to push and strive for anything they want in life you just need the push to do it
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